Dear Inner Child: I'm Learning to Keep You Safe Now

Let’s be honest, most of us didn’t grow up learning how to truly take care of ourselves emotionally. Sure, we were taught how to tie our shoes, do long division, maybe even bake a boxed cake. But nobody pulled us aside and said, “Here’s how you deal with fear. Here’s how you soothe yourself when the world feels too big.”

And so, many of us carry around this little part of ourselves, our inner child, that never really felt safe.

This post is a letter, a reminder, and a turning point. It’s for anyone who’s finally ready to stop running from the past and start healing it.

Remembering That Inner Child

Let’s start here: Who is your inner child?

It’s not some mystical or made-up idea. Your inner child is the younger version of you that still lives inside, the part that remembers how it felt to be left out, to be scared, to not understand why the adults around you acted the way they did. It’s the part that might still flinch at raised voices or feel like you’re too much when you cry.

And here’s the thing: even if you’re an adult now with bills and a Netflix password and a favorite grocery store aisle, that part of you hasn’t disappeared. It shows up in the ways you react, how you connect with others, and how you talk to yourself.

Recognizing your inner child isn’t about being stuck in the past. It’s about understanding why certain things still hit hard, and giving that younger part of you the care you didn’t get back then.

Spotting Old Patterns

Sometimes, we repeat emotional patterns we don’t even realize we picked up as kids.

You might shut down during conflict because you learned it wasn’t safe to speak up. Or maybe you say “yes” to everything because you were taught your needs came second. These aren’t just personality quirks. They’re survival skills are your inner child’s developed to feel safe.

The problem? What kept you safe as a child might be hurting you now.

When you pause and think, “Wait, why did I just react like that?”, that’s your first clue. That’s the moment you realize your inner child might be running the show.

Becoming the Protector You Needed

Here’s where things shift.

You don’t need to shame yourself for having those responses. You just need to take on a new role: protector.

Imagine yourself as the adult you always needed, calm, steady, kind. When those old fears show up, you can say, “I see you. You’re safe now.” It may sound strange at first, talking to yourself like that.

But honestly? It’s powerful.

This is where you start to build self-trust. Every time you choose a kind word over harsh self-talk, or take a break instead of pushing through burnout, you’re showing that younger part of you: I’ve got you.

That matters more than you might think.

What Emotional Safety Looks Like

So, what does it mean to create emotional safety for your inner child?

It’s not about bubble baths or fancy journals (though hey, if those help, go for it). It’s about being someone you can rely on. Someone who listens instead of criticizes. Who slows down instead of pushing through pain?

Sometimes that means setting boundaries, even when it feels awkward. Other times, it means checking in with yourself the way you might check on a friend: “Hey, what do you need right now?”

You start showing up for yourself in small ways. You breathe through the panic instead of ignoring it. You rest without guilt. You learn to be okay with being okay, not just surviving, but feeling safe in your skin.

Rewriting the Way You Talk to Yourself

Let’s talk about the voice in your head for a second.

Is it kind? Is it forgiving? Or is it a little too quick to criticize?

Most of us learned early on that we had to be “good,” “perfect,” or at least “easy to love.” So when we mess up or feel something deeply, that voice might still say, “What’s wrong with you?”

But you can change that script.

Instead of scolding yourself, try saying what you wish someone had told you: “You’re allowed to feel this.” Or “It makes sense that you’re upset.”

It might feel cheesy at first, but over time, that inner dialogue softens. Your inner child learns they don’t have to hide or hustle to earn love. They already have it from you.

Sticking With the Healing Journey

Look, this isn’t a one-and-done kind of thing.

You don’t heal your inner child in a weekend. There’s no checklist. Sometimes you feel like you’re making progress, and then something knocks the wind out of you.

That’s okay.

Healing isn’t about always getting it right. It’s about being willing to come back to yourself, again and again, with compassion. To say, “That was tough. I’m still here.”

And the more you show up for yourself like that, the more you start to believe you’re worth showing up for.