How to Stop Second-Guessing Yourself as a New Manager

So, you’ve stepped into a new management role. Congrats! You’re leading a team, making decisions, maybe even running meetings with confidence, well, kind of.

If you’re constantly second-guessing yourself, you’re far from alone.

That little voice in your head, the one whispering “Was that the right call?” or “Did I say the wrong thing in that meeting?”, can be loud when you’re new to management. It’s exhausting. It slows you down. And if it goes unchecked, it chips away at your confidence.

But here’s the good news: second-guessing doesn’t have to be your new normal.

Let’s talk about how to quiet that voice, trust your gut, and lead with more clarity, without pretending to have it all figured out.

Why You Keep Second-Guessing Yourself (And Why That’s Okay)

Let’s be real. Stepping into a management role can feel like being dropped into the deep end, without floaties.

You’re suddenly expected to have answers, give direction, manage personalities, and still hit goals. No pressure, right?

Second-guessing often kicks in because:

• You’re afraid of making mistakes
• You don’t want to let your team down
• You’re not sure what “good management” is supposed to look like
• You feel like you’re playing a role you haven’t earned yet

This isn’t just insecurity, it’s often your brain trying to protect you from failure. But the irony is, overthinking increases the risk of making poor decisions or hesitating when you need to act.

Recognizing that voice in your head as a natural response is the first step. It means you care. But caring doesn’t mean you have to doubt yourself every step of the way.

Confidence Isn’t What You Think It Is

When people picture a confident manager, they often imagine someone who’s always cool, always certain, and never has doubts. But that’s a myth.

Confidence isn’t about always knowing the right answer. It’s about being okay with not knowing sometimes, and moving forward anyway.

Some of the most respected leaders admit when they’re unsure, ask for input, and still trust themselves to make the call. Confidence is quiet. It’s steady. And it’s built through small, repeated acts of showing up and trying again.

If you’re waiting to feel confident before acting, you’ll stay stuck. Instead, act first, and let confidence catch up.

Get Clear on What’s Expected of You

One big reason new managers feel off-balance? They’re not totally sure what success looks like in their role.

Are you supposed to be everyone’s problem-solver? The decision-maker? The motivator? All three?

When expectations are vague, it’s easy to assume you’re falling short, even when you’re not.

Here’s what helps:

• Ask for clarity from your manager about priorities and goals
• Define your success in simple terms: “Did I help my team move forward today?”
• Let go of the idea that you need to have all the answers to be effective

Remember, being a manager doesn’t mean doing everything. It means creating the conditions for your team to succeed. Sometimes that’s stepping in. Sometimes it’s stepping back.

Make Decision-Making Less of a Mental Minefield

If second-guessing is eating up your mental energy, decision-making is probably where it shows up the most.

You freeze up. You overanalyze. You run a simple choice through five different mental simulations and still don’t feel sure.

Want to simplify things? Build yourself a light decision-making process, nothing fancy. Just something to help you move forward with more confidence.

Try this:

1. Get the facts. What do you know?
2. Get input if needed. Ask for insight, not permission.
3. Set a quick deadline. Don’t let it drag.
4. Make the call. Trust the info you have.
5. Review later. Adjust if needed, but don’t backpedal mid-stream.

Not every decision needs to be perfect. But each one teaches you something, and the more you practice, the less you’ll doubt yourself.

Stop Aiming for Perfect. Aim for Progress.

Let’s say it together: Perfection is not the goal.

As a new manager, you’re going to mess things up sometimes. You might send the wrong message. Misread a situation. Miss a deadline. That doesn’t make you a bad manager, it makes you human.

The problem is, when you expect yourself to get everything right, all the time, you’re setting a trap. You’ll second-guess every choice because what if it’s not perfect?

Instead, focus on being intentional, clear, and adaptable. That’s what builds trust with your team. Not flawless execution, but honest effort and growth.

Progress beats perfection every single time.

Learn How to Ask for Feedback (Without Letting It Shake You)

Feedback is gold, but only when you know how to handle it.

Here’s the tricky part. When you’re already doubting yourself, even helpful feedback can feel like confirmation that you’re doing everything wrong.

Don’t fall into that trap.

Instead:

• Ask for specific feedback: “What’s one thing I could do better in our check-ins?”
• Separate your identity from the input. Feedback is about actions, not your worth.
• Use it to adjust, not unravel. It’s just info, not a verdict on your leadership.

And if you get no feedback? That doesn’t always mean you’re doing great. It just means people may not know what to say, or they may assume you don’t want input. Be proactive. Show that you’re open. It helps build credibility.

Reflect, But Don’t Replay the Tape on a Loop

There’s a difference between healthy reflection and obsessively replaying every move.

Reflection looks like this:

• What went well?
• What would I do differently next time?
• What did I learn?

Replaying looks like this:

• “Ugh, why did I say that?”
• “I should’ve done this instead.”
• “What if everyone thinks I’m incompetent?”

The first helps you grow. The second keeps you stuck.

Set aside a few minutes at the end of the day or week to look back. Grab a notebook or jot down quick thoughts in a phone app. Use that time to process and move forward, not to dwell.

Build Confidence Like a Muscle, One Small Step at a Time

Confidence isn’t something you magically get. It’s something you build.

Think of it like working out. You don’t lift heavy on day one. You start small, stay consistent, and slowly level up.

The same goes for leadership.

Try these daily practices:

• Speak up one more time than you feel comfortable
• Make one decision without triple-checking it
• Celebrate a small win at the end of each day
• Keep a “confidence log” of what you handled well

These aren’t huge moves, but they add up. Over time, you’ll notice that voice in your head, the one that doubts everything, starts to quiet down.

You Don’t Need to Have It All Figured Out

Here’s the truth: no one expects you to be the perfect manager. Not your team. Not your boss. And not yourself.

What do they expect?

• That you’re trying to learn
• That you’re willing to grow
• That you care enough to show up fully, even when it’s hard

Second-guessing thrives in silence and isolation. So talk to other managers. Find a mentor. Join a leadership group. Or even just connect with a peer who gets it.

You don’t have to fake confidence. You just have to keep showing up.

Final Thoughts: Trust Yourself (Even When You’re Still Learning)

Let’s end on this: You were given this role for a reason.

Sure, you’re still learning. Sure, you’ll make mistakes. But that doesn’t mean you’re not capable. It means you’re becoming the kind of manager who leads with empathy, thoughtfulness, and strength.

Every time you choose to act, despite the doubt, you’re moving forward.

So the next time that second-guessing voice pipes up, pause and ask yourself:

Is this helping me lead, or holding me back?

Then take a breath, trust your gut, and keep going.